CW: depression, self-harm, suicidal ideation
Name: William Byrne
Nicknames: Liam
Birthday: March 1, 1998
Pronouns: he/him
Physical Description: Tall and thin, with a permanent hunch that makes him look smaller than his six foot plus, and a gauntness to his body and expressions that insinuates a deep, ever-present fatigue. His hair is curly and luxuriant, bordering the divide between a rich chestnut brown and dark fiery copper. It is long, reaching to his shoulders in thick waves that he often runs his bony white fingers through when lost in thought. He sweeps it up and over one side of his head to get it out of the way, where it hangs from his prominent widows peak in warm and inviting tresses. His eyes are a smoky grey, sunken deep into his jutting skull and staring out over dark circles beneath the lid. Beneath a large and avian nose his jaw is covered in a red scruff of facial hair, looking not so much a fashion decision as a sign of forgetting to shave and eventually giving up that particular battle. The man is perpetually cold, and wears button down shirts that are past their prime and have faded to greys and muddy pastels, rolling the sleeves up haphazardly above his elbows to expose his forearms. He has very large hands with long, delicate fingers. On his inner left forearm, a tattoo of the inside of a snail shell spiraling out in a Fibonacci sequence covers several healed horizontal scars.
Occupation: currently between jobs
Personality: Melancholy hangs over Liam's head like a perpetual rain cloud, evident to any who encounter him. His mannerisms are dreamy, often bumping into things or staring off into space as he scratches his scalp anxiously. His voice is deep, but he rarely speaks unless spoken to first, generally responding in single word answers. He apologizes often, giving off an air of embarrassment that some find charming but others find infuriating. His expression is often flat, with his sunken eyes staring out to something only he can see, but is occasionally graced by a soft smile when he experiences something beautiful: a song, a piece of art, nature. On the rare occasions he does speak more than a sentence, others are surprised by his sharp and cutting humor. He is always either beginning a new artistic pursuit or in the process of shaming himself for neglecting to commit to the one he most recently chose. He has a knack for the creative, but is not so practiced in any single field as to be call any of them a vocation or purpose. As such, he keeps his drawings/poems/songs close to the chest and would rather die than share them with anyone; they are not particularly good. He is a quiet and gentle giant with a lurking intensity he does his best to hide.
Backstory: Liam Byrne, for as long as he can remember, has housed an aching sadness that he has never quite been able to shake. Even as a child, adults would remark at the maturity and solemnity of the sunken-eyed toddler, unsure how exactly to respond. Perhaps it is the fault of these adults that he ended up this way, some neglect in their mannerisms that scarred him deeply. At least one of Liam's therapists thought this was the case over the years, but Liam was never fully convinced. There were no glaring acts of child abuse, no huge loss that marked a start to the heaviness. His parents were kind and loving. The only solution that made sense to him was that there was something deeply wrong with him, for no reason other than bad luck. While he always performed well at school, he never rose above the crowd as he had frequent absences due to health concerns. His well-off parents were fortunately adamant believers in mental health treatment, and he began seeing every type of specialist under the sun from a young age. The diagnosis was generally agreed upon, with a few adjustments for the personal taste of the doctor, or whatever hot new trend was getting all the psychiatrists excited that season: major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder. Not as serious or even interesting as many of the more stigmatized mental illnesses, and no particular cause besides just genetics. For some reason, Liam's brain didn't make the right amount of chemicals to make him feel like he deserved to be alive.
And so, while there were occasional stints in his life where he felt generally more positive, that was his core belief: that the world was too much for him, that he was too much for the world, and that things would be better on average for everyone involved if he just ceased to exist. As such, his personal and professional career is interrupted by several stints in mental hospitals, intensive outpatient programs, failed relationships, and resignations. He has a degree, but has never worked in the field on the certificate. His last job at a St. Raymond's food pantry, was ended abruptly by yet another month-long stay in a rehab facility in the country. He now lives alone in the apartment his parents are spotting him while he figures out his life for what feels like the hundredth time.
Stats:
- Power: 0
- Finesse: -1
- Mind: 1
- Arcane: 2